Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
