you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
