Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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