Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize