what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
