The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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