Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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