She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
