I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize