If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
