He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
