first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
