Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
this will be a night to untag.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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