I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
