Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just had sex on a roof
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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