oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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