I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
