You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize