I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
