that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I faked an abortion last night.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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