Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
