At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
