i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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