The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
