If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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