i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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