Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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