I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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