apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize