she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
