then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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