i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
