Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
