Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize