there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
