Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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