i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
