Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
