have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
