the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
