So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
