Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
