So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
