I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
