I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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