I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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