If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
