Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We won't sleep together?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
