I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
