clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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