oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
