idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize