yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
