Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
