woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
