i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
