ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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