Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
