Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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