Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
