I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
