What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
